Sunday, June 19, 2011

I'm No Beauty Queen

I've mentioned before that I feel like I don't know myself. Last night I realized just what I mean by that. When I was younger I had interests and dreams that turned out to be nothing but rebelion. For years I've had bursts of inspiration followed by bouts of despair, 'caused - I think - by the bipolar I suspect I have. And all this has left me feeling lost and confused. I just want to know what of me is me, and which is my rebellion or bipolar (if I do, indeed, have that).
I've had so many elaborate ideas, over the years, that came to nothing, that I am extremely hesitant to act on any of my ideas now. I don't want to start something if I'm not going to follow through with it after all. I want to know myself better. So I will know which of my ideas are wild day dreams, and which are actually something I might follow through on. I want to know who I am.I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound so gloomy lately. My big sister - my closest confidant - has been camping out of cell servies all week end, which has left me lots of time for reflection. I am very eager to talk to her again tonight!{Dress/Made by me ~ Shoes/Xhilarations (borrowed from my mom) ~ Necklace/ModCloth ~ Sunglasses/Xhilaration}

So, about this outfit.
The other times I've worn this dress, I've layered it or put a belt with it, but this time I kept it simple so the zipper could take center stage. I even borrowed my moms wedges - which I now love!

6 comments:

  1. Katie, I think this is just part of being a teenager and growing up. :)

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  2. It sounds like you need a hug. *hugs* :) Sometimes growing up can be so confusing. I've been realizing that for some time now. Remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always give me a call. And of course God knows you through and through, so that is a comfort. :)

    I love you so much!
    *twirls away*

    ~Flora

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  3. I can't believe you made this dress... It's absolutely impeccable and I'm so jealous of your talent.

    And once again, I could truly relate to this post. It always upsets me becaue I can't put my dreams and inspiration into reality.

    Hold in there and I'll be praying for you. I have empathy of what you're going through.

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  4. I love everything about growing up. And I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear-but I think it's just part of growing up. Some people know from a really early age what they want to do and some people might know until they're 40. But I would say the fact that you actually notice and consider your whims, means you already know yourself better than you think.
    -Meagan
    http://spunkychateau.blogspot.com

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  5. Ahhh Katie - this dress is so pretty!! The fit is great and now I think you're a better sewer than me :)
    Plus your hair looks absolutely fab -the color is super-gorgey.
    And I know exactly how you feel - I always get those fits of inspiration followed by depression. I think it probably has something to do with teenagerdom.
    Ah, well. Chin up, charge the mountain, I guess!

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  6. gorgeous dress!!!!!!!!!!! I went through what you are going through in my later teen years, although I was not really despaired . . I went through that when I was manic depressed as a pre-teen.

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