Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Afraid to Fall

Inspired by my outfit yesterday, I decided to post another one of my poems. Poetry is one of my favorite forms of self expression, and this one is especially personal to me. I wrote it about some trouble I was having with a friend, and it's a great reminder not to let myself go back there.

I'm reaching for the door
'Cause I'm out of here if talking to me's now a pain
And I say that you don't need me now,
'Cause it's easier just to run away -
To open the door and be gone -
Then to stay and risk getting hurt,
Just like I"m so scared I will.
But first I stop,
And look back again,
And I know it's clear -
I'm making the biggest mistake

'Cause I'm standing at the edge of a cliff
And you ask me to jump.
You ask me to trust you.
You say you'll catch me.
But I'm afraid to fall -
Afraid to be hurt,
And it's easier just to run away;
To open the door and be gone.

You're so very quiet.
I know you're mind's a million miles away from me.
And I tell myself that you don't care
'Cause it's easier just to run away -
And to get away from that fall -
Then to jump off the cliff and trust
When I'm so scared of falling.
But first I stop,
And look at you,
And I know it's clear -
I'll loose you now if I don't trust.

'Cause I'm standing at the edge of a cliff
And you ask me to jump.
You ask me to trust you.
You say you'll catch me.
But I'm afraid to fall -
Afraid to be hurt,
And it's easier just to run away;
To open the door and be gone.

If jumping's what it takes -
If I have to jump to keep you with me forever -
I will.
'Cause I love you and I'll do
Whatever it takes to ensure
You'll always be here with me.
So I'll jump -
Just tell me again
That you'll be at the bottom.
I need to hear
You say it again
'Cause I'm still afraid
But I'm going to trust you now.

'Cause I'm standing at the edge of a cliff
And you ask me to jump.
You ask me to trust you.
You say you'll catch me.
But I'm afraid to fall -
Afraid to be hurt,
And it's easier just to run away;
To open the door and be gone.

I want to promise you
The next time it'll be easier for me to do
But I don't know if it will be then.
'Cause I'm so very scared of being hurt
And it flashes up sometimes.
But know that I will always jump
Even if it takes awhile.
'Cause I love you
And I'd do it a hundred times more
If it meant you'd stay my best friend.

'Cause I'm standing at the edge of a cliff
And you ask me to jump.
You ask me to trust you.
You say you'll catch me.
But I'm afraid to fall -
Afraid to be hurt,
And it's easier just to run away;
To open the door and be gone.

'Cause I'm standing at the edge of a cliff
And you ask me to jump.
You ask me to trust you.
You say you'll catch me.
But I'm afraid to fall -
Afraid to be hurt,
And it's easier just to run away;
To open the door and be gone.

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