Who would have thought that pushing one button on the computer could hurt so badly? Well, sometimes it can. Saturday night I did something really, really hard for me: I unfriended on one of my social networks, a girl I've known for years. A girl I counted as one of my best friends for years.
It is hard when you're friends with someone for a long time and then you suddenly realize that your friendship meant nothing to them. I would have done anything for this girl - and she pushed me aside without a second thought. I kept telling myself things would be better and making excuses for her, but there comes a point when you just can't be patient anymore - because you'll just end up getting hurt every time things aren't better.
I tried so hard to let go of her, but I just couldn't give up hope. So Saturday night I finally just spilled out into a venting monologue to my big sister. I asked her if she thought it would be wrong to unfriend the girl, and she said she thought it would be a good thing - reassuring me that I was right. So I did it. I went to the girl's profile and clicked "unfriend" and then cried as I looked at her profile. I could see her likes and dislikes, where she was going to school, her home town - everything I already knew. And above it all there was a button that said "add as friend" forcing me to accept the fact that we had never really been friends.
I have been thinking about it ever since then, and I realized that I turned a blind eye to a lot. She wasn't a very good friend, and I don't think she respected me. So I am letting her go now. And having a very "Dear John" sort of moment while I do so (does that make up for Music Monday? How about we say it does, anyway? ;-D)
I have a lot of really awesome friends - a bunch of which I'm going to get to see this spring (score!) I'm not desperate. I don't need to put up with someone who doesn't really care about me - someone who doesn't and never has accepted me as I am.
So here I am - one friend less. I'm still "shining like fireworks" and in true Taylor Swift style I'm having the last word. I'm "taking her matches before fire can catch me" and "surprise surprise, I'm doing just fine!" (That last one is Hannah Montana - not Taylor, but it fits. :D)
(P.S. Sorry for the image heavy post. This is part of a photo shoot I did while I was out of town this week. You can see the rest of the pictures on my Flickr page if you like)
Dress - Vintage (borrowed from my cousin, Anna)
Tights - Merona
Ankle Boots - Xhilaration
Belt - Charlotte Russe
Purse - Mulberry for Target
Leather Jacket - Wet Seal