I used to know a girl. A fearless girl. A girl who knew exactly what she wanted, and was willing to fight anyone who tried to stop her. So how did that girl become so frightened?
This blog has never been just blog to me. I've never mentioned it much on here, but I have a dream of opening my own clothing store. A store that would sell dresses for fashionable, modesty concerned/tall girls. I call it The Girl in the Purple dress.
From the very beginning I've known that having a successful blog could help my dream be successful. That's not the only reason I blog - of course I love the creative outlet, meeting such amazing friends, and sharing so much of my life and passions with all my lovely readers. But then my blog started gaining followers. At first I was so excited and happy. And then - well, I'm not really sure what happened. Maybe it was that my family started thinking I was vain, superficial and lazy. Maybe it was that this was the first blog I've ever taken seriously, and it seemed so big. Sixty followers is more than half way to a hundred, after all, and that number is looming ever closer. Maybe it was a combination of both. For whatever reason I got scared - petrified. I'm scared to fail, but I'm just as scared to succeed.
If I fail I will be the little girl with a dumb dream. But if I succeed I'll stay the vain, superficial, shallow young lady.
So am I going to stay the scared little girl who is only ever really herself when all the rest of the house is in bed? Dressing up and dancing around to Taylor Swift thinking of all the things she would love to do if only she weren't so scared? No. I am going to become a contender. Because only after I've become a contender can I become a champion. I am going to be the girl I want to be - the one I am sure is the one God wants me to be. He has a way of getting his message across.