Change

Before I get more into posting about this weekend I wanted to take a minute to stop and talk about this blog and what it is in my life.

I started Beautifully Pure when I was sixteen years old. I was still in school with no drivers license, and few friends. I was lonely and needed a creative outlet, and loved blogging before, so why not start a new one? I chose the name somewhat hastily - it fit what I wanted my style to be, and sounded very Christian.

Since then I have got my drivers license, graduated high school, started working full time, and made numerous new friends. This blog just doesn't fit me and my life anymore.

I'm not the same shy, mousey girl I was three (or even one!) year ago. I've learned that being a "good" Christian girl doesn't mean I have to let myself get walked on. I've learned how to stand up for myself, and done incredible things, to boot! I still can't believe I drove nine hours by myself to meet a bunch of online friends in strange city!

So, to keep this blog in line with my life, and so I can continue to share my life honestly, Beautifully Pure is undergoing a re-branding. The new name is "The Wildwood Flower." I'm in the process of switching the domain over (don't worry! Beautifully Pure will auto-redirect, so no need to update your book marks!), and I have a few tweeks to make to the new layout yet, but this is tenitively how things will be looking around her from now on!

Thank you so much to everyone who's followed me these past almost three years, and I hope you'll stick around for this new chapter in this lil' ol' blogs life. *kisses*

How I Became the Sea

 

{credit}

I'd be lying if I said I never thought of you anymore. I'd be lying if I said nothing ever reminded me of you. Shoot, I'd even be lying if I said I never cried for you. But I'd also be lying if I said that I didn't know that would get less and less every day. I'd be lying if I said there was still a hole in my heart left by you.

I have good days where you never cross my mind. I'm so happy with my life right now. I know that you probably think I've wandered off the straight and narrow path. That I've given into the world. It makes me happy to thing that I'll never have to undergo your judgement about that again. I feel free knowing that you can do now is judge me from afar. I don't have to deal with your judgement anymore.

But I also have bad days. Where I miss having a "best" friend. I don't have a best friend right now - at least, not the way you and I used to be. But that's a good thing. Sometimes I envy my friends who are "bffs" and so close. They do some of the things you and I used to do, but now I'm on my own in that sense. But then I think back to how closed off I was back then. How you were the only person I had room for in my life - and I know that I wouldn't go back to that even if I could. I feel like the person that was cowering inside myself our whole friendship has finally busted out and I love her. I love who I am, and I know you wouldn't approve.

I've made peace with who I am and how I got here. I can look back on our friendship and smile on them as part of my past. That's all behind me and "no one can be mad [or sad!] about the past!" as Phoebe would say.

I know I'm not what you thought I was.

xo,

Katie Burry

I'm Free to be Me // Daily Outfit + Accepting Ourselves

In my pre-teen/early teen years I remember that there were two things I was really self-conscious of: the first was my height, and the second my humongous overbite. (No, seriously, it's almost a centimeter in length.) I thought that I couldn't wear any heels over three inches tall because I was already 5' 8" - even though my favorite look was four inches and above, and I thought I looked like a gopher when I smiled, so I wouldn't ever post any photos online of me smiling "with teeth."

Over the past couple of years, though, I've come to appreciate myself for what I am. I'm tall, and I like heels that make me at least six feet high - so what? Does that mean that I should stop wearing them? Absolutely not! I love big heels and I'm tall - that's just who I am!

And as for my overbite, it actually kind of fits my personality. I'm not elegant and I'm not graceful. I am, to be honest, I'm a lot like Anne Shirley - especially with the getting into trouble doing stupid things. (I would totally chase a cow across a muddy field in my nice dress if need be!) I'm pretty crazy, I talk loudly,  and my teeth aren't perfect, and that's ok. I kind of like that about myself, because it's what makes me unique. It's like my mom says: I've got the personality of a dwarf with the looks of an elf - which means that I got the best of both worlds! (Come on! You *know* you were at least a little irritated when the elves wouldn't even help the dwarves get everyone out of Erebor in the Hobbit.) And when my photos turn out a little silly looking, that's ok, because that's just how I am. I'm actually starting to enjoy posting the crazy ones - all the neat and proper ones are all well and good, but that's definitely not all there is to me, and I'm starting to like showing the crazy side!

So what I'm trying to say is: if there's something about you that you don't like, instead of hiding it and trying to pretend it doesn't exist, try to find a way to rock it. Because it's our "imperfections" that make us unique. There are thousands of Victoria Secret's Angels out there, but what makes the characters were love in books so much so loved is their imperfections - just like with us. ♥

♥ ♥ ♥       

dress: borrowed from Molly

JC Litas: Urban Outfitters

belt: Pitaya

bracelet: vintage

jacket: Old Navy via Ebay

title: Summer Day Dreams by Breanne Duren

Know Yourself // Honest to Blog

Sorry for my lack of posts this week! Life has been CRAY-ZEE! I promise to update more next week. In the mean time, here's an Honest to Blog post I wrote up a couple weeks ago:

Lately I've been thinking a lot about love. What I look for in a guy, what I want my next relationship to be like, etc. The thing I've found myself wondering most often, though is: where did I go wrong last time? The last time I had a crush on a guy he turned out to definitely be the Mr. Wrong for me. But why? I had my priorities straight, he just turned out to be not what I thought he was. I felt like I should have known, but at the same time how could I have? What was it about him that made him wrong for me? Then yesterday the answer hit me (and funnily enough, it's the same reason I found myself not liking a different friend of mine last year) he didn't really know himself.

Now I'm not one of those people that think it takes 20+ years to "find yourself" but I do think that a rudimentary knowlege of who you are is necessary to get through life. But the guy I liked had no idea who he was or what he wanted out of life - and because of that, I never really knew him. I liked an idea of him that I don't think ever really existed.

But I suppose it's no wonder that I liked him. I saw the pain that he was going through and I empathized with him maybe a little too much. Being hurt is something that none of us can control but we can control how we react to it. I don't want to let the pain I've lived through rule my life. I don't want to survive with open wounds, I want to thrive with scars. I think that's something that's really misunderstood about scars. There's always that emotional scene in books/movies when the MC is like "I have scars" as a reason why they're so distrustful/bitter, but that's a handicap - not a scar. I have scars on my body, and 99% of the time they don't hurt. Sometimes they do, if hit in exactly the right way, but most of the time they're just a part of me. An injury that I've healed and moved on from. Most of the time, they don't affect my day-to-day life. I want my emotional injurys to heal the same way.

And even though I'm a long way from it, I feel so much closer to that than I ever have before. I feel like a confident young woman - not a scared little girl. I've done so much over the past year that would have paralyzed me just a couple years ago (ok, not literally, but you get the idea!) and I am so proud of myself for that! I feel like, for the first time in my life, I know who I am, what I like and what I want. I love rockabilly clothing, classic cars and doowop music. I'm a nerd. I'm a country girl. I'm me and I don't need anyone to complete me. I don't want someone to be my missing puzzle piece I just want them go through this crazy thing called life alongside me so we can be awesome together.

Make sense? I hope so.

xo,

Katie Burry

Why I Love Katy Perry // Honest to Blog

The other night I wanted to post a graphic to FaceBook featuring a line from a Wide Awake by Katy Perry, but could find virtually no nice images. What!? I took it upon myself to make a few (or a lot! these three are just my favorites!)

There's very few celebrities I can honestly say that I admire, but Katy Perry is one of them, which is weird, because I disagree with most of what she is known for - but that's not all there is to her. Several months ago I watched Part of Me, and I honestly can't believe how much I loved it. Katy Perry is one of the strongest, most amazing women I've ever heard of.

If anyone has ever had a reason to bash their ex she does. She was married to him and did - from what I've heard - absolutely everything she could to keep their marriage going, and he still divorced her. But I've never once heard her bash him, and the one song she did (I think) write about him, isn't angry at all - it's heartbreaking, and, quite honestly, a song that I could really relate to. It's a song about her and her growth. It's not "omgsh he's such a jerk, and I'm planning my revenge!" It's just "I'm falling from cloud nine, I picked up every piece, and landed on my feet." And I think that's amazing and admireable.

So yeah, she doesn't dress the best. Yeah, some of her songs are very inappropriate, but no one is perfect, and I believe in admitting when someone is a good inspiration even if it's only in one area of life. If that makes me worldly so be it. But if I can die being able to honestly say that I handled evert break up of relationships and friendships with as much strength, grace and dignity as Katy Perry did, I'll be one happy lady. ♥

xo,

Katie

My Story of Manipulative Relationships // Honest to Blog

I don't know how to start this post so I guess I'll just come out and say it: I was caught up in a manipulative/controlling relationship all through high school and even for a while after I graduated. And no, it wasn't a romantic relationship. I know some people think that you can't be in a bad "relationship" if it's not romantic. Let me be the first to inform you that this is not true

I'm the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family, so I've never had any older friends/family to look up to. So when I was a freshman in high school, and I met a girl who was several years older than me, who was talented and popular, and for some reason sought me out... well, I couldn't help but be flattered.

We spent every minute of the day talking and texting - even when I was with other friends or family - and looking back, I'm really embarrassed at how much I let her manipulate me.  I'm embarrassed that all she had to do was say a few words and I would do whatever she wanted. I'm embarrassed that I cut myself off from the rest of my family and friends because "no one else 'got' me." But I just have to keep telling myself that, hey! I was fifteen, full of hormones and emotions and a new Christian to boot.

But then things started to get worse. She blamed me for everything: I left her out, didn't love her enough, was too worldly, too focused on growing up, worried too much, talked too much, didn't help her enough, was a terrible friend, dressed badly, shouldn't like tattoos or colored hair, shouldn't be happy when she was sad, shouldn't be sad when she was happy, should talk to her all day long, answer her messages right away, not spend more time with my other friends than I did with her, be there whenever she needed any little thing and ask for nothing in return. She yelled at me, ignored my problems and demanded my attention.

Then I started to see things differently...

I tried reasoning with her. I tried begging her. I tried explaining to her. I yelled just to make my voice heard. But it made less than no difference. I got apologies but in the end it didn't last more than a couple days. We'd fight and I'd think this would be the end, she'd apologize and we'd try again.

In the end, I had to end it. But the pain didn't stop.

It was - and is - really hard, but the more I'm away from her the more my eyes have been open. Now I want to forgive her and get healthy again. I want to move on, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss her. I miss talking to her, and feeling like I had someone I could depend on no matter what.

Because even though I know it's unhealthy for me to be around her, I still love her so much. She has so much potential and so much good inside her if she could just take responsibility for her actions. 

So that's my story. And for those of you wondering, no, I am not writing this out of anger/revenge/bitterness/passive aggressiveness. I'm writing this out of the hope that maybe, just maybe, not hiding the hurt is the first step to healing. And in the hopes that if anyone reading this is going through a similar experience, they'll realize that they're not alone and no, they're not crazy or bad friends like I thought I was. I'm not an expert, but if anyone out there is going through something similar and just wants someone to listen/give an outside opinion/let them know that they're not alone, don't hesitate to drop me a line. My email is katie(at)beautifully-pure(dot)com. I know how exhausting/frusterating/heartbreaking a situation like this can be, and I'd love to everything I can to help.

God bless and I hope you all are having a great day.
♥

xo,

Katie Burry

The Other Side of Me // Honest To Blog

Ok, honesty time: I have no idea how to start this post. It's something that's been simmering in my mind for weeks now, but putting it onto "paper" is going to be a lot harder than I thought...

No doubt you all have heard (a lot) by now that I spent a week with my aunt and uncle in Missouri recently - and my trip, well, it was amazing. I had this odd premonition before hand that it was going to be a very defining point in - something - and it was. It made a lot of things I've been thinking about lately so much clearer in my head.

Within the past six months I made the difficult decision to let go of several friendships. I'm an extremely loyal friend, so even though I did everything I could before hand to make it work, I still felt really guilty about "ditching" my friends. The longer I've gone without contact with them, however, the clearer and clearer it's been to me that I made the right decision. There were so many problems with our friendship, and not the least was that I totally and completely lost myself. I stopped talking to my family and one of my oldest, closest friends because they was the only ones who "got me," and I stopped showing other sides of me because I got tired of getting shot down.

The thing is, though, that I feel like there's this whole other side of me that's not shown. Sometimes I even feel like my blog is a lie or a fraud because it's only one side of me. That's not all there is to me.

I'm not a hipster. I'm definitely not twee. I thought I was for a while, but I'm not. Not that it's bad to be either of those things - but that's just not me. I love Mason/Ball jars, but a big part of that is the fact that I've sorta grown up with them. My grandma and aunt have used them for as long as I can remember. In fact, I was drinking out of them before bloggers made it cool, and I actually know how to make jelly to put in them.

Not to go all hipster "I'm cooler than you" on you, but my point is that a lot of what I like overlaps with what is "twee" or "hipster" so it can seem like that's who I am, but I'm not. And I don't mean to sound like I'm too cool to be a hipster, but after getting rid of the negative influences in my life and bringing back some of the positive ones, I feel like I've just woken up from a dream! I look back on the past few years and all I can think is "what was I doing?? Why did I let one person influence and even - dare I say it - define who I was!?"

So what's the point of this big long ramble? I want to get back to my roots, and I want my blog to reflect that. I want more honesty here. More real talk. This will probably mean more talk of/photos of awesome pick-up trucks on the blog. This may mean me buying + busting out a camo tee shirt. This will hopefully mean more photography on the blog. The point is, I want my blog to be an accurate reflection of who I am - warts and all.

xo,

Katie

Honest to Blog is a category of posts I do when I feel like there's something big I need to address on my blog. It's based on a series by the same name on Little Chief Honey Bee.

Close Your Tired Eyes // Daily Outfit

"Close your tired eyes, relaxing them.

Count from one to ten and open them. 

All these heavy thoughts will try to weigh you down. But not this time."

~ Shooting Star by Owl City

Lately I feel like the whole world is resting on my shoulders. My life hasn't always been easy, and I can testify to the saying that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I'm not the happy-go-lucky optimist most people think I am. I'm an optimist by choice because it was either that or be a cynical pessimist for the rest of my life and I didn't want that.

The thing is, I'm a fighter. I always have been and I always will be. That's not going to change. I'm also incredibly protective of those I live. My attitude is "say whatever you want about me - I'll just laugh it off and then go prove you wrong - but if you hurt those I love, then you'll pay." I feel the need to take care of everyone and I run myself into the ground trying to.

Because the truth is, I don't always have the answers. I don't always have the strength to go on - but I feel like I should. Sometimes I just want to be sad, or be alone, or just take care of me but I feel guilty about that. I'm the one who is supposed to take care of everyone else. Who am I not to have the answers? Who am I to want to take care of myself when everyone else needs me so badly?

Sometimes I forget that I'm just one girl barely out of high school. I'm my own worst enemy because I demand stuff of myself that one one else would dare to expect from me. I place burdens on myself that aren't mine and shouldn't be mine to bare. But I don't know how not to. I don't know how to say "right now I need to take care of myself, and I'll help you later" without feeling like a terrible sister and friend.

I don't know how to just be me.

Edit: This dress was part of another swap with Lauren of Someone Like You. You can see how she styled it here.

   ♥ ♥ ♥              

dress: borrowed from Lauren of Someone Like You

belt: H&M

jacket: Ebay

flats: c/o Blowfish Shoes

jeans: Old Navy

cardigan: ModCloth

necklace: Target

Twenty-Eleven Recap // Honest to Blog

No, I am not done summing up 2011. Sorry, but it was such a big year that I feel like I could go on and on about it! So I'm stealing my friend Christina's idea and doing a post about all the things I did and accomplished in 2011.

Last year, I sewed my first dress. And it was such a pain. So much so that that's the only dress I sewed last year. But I love how it turned out and I'm eager to start my new one now.

Last year, I flew across the country, all by myself. I was terrified, but I did it and I'm so glad I did, and I'm going to do it again lots more because I don't ever want to let something like that scare me.

Last year, I met two of my best friends in the whole world, and realized that - contrary to my opinion at the time - real gentleman do still exists outside the world of books.

Last year, I learned to appreciate the strong women in my life, and the impact they've had on me - especially my mom. I come from a family of very strong-willed women. If there's a job that needs to get done, or a hard trial to go through they go about it like it's a piece of cake, complaining very little, and I never even noticed. It took me getting out into the world more, and thinking outside the box to realize just how amazing they are. My mom took care of a toddler and a baby virtually by herself while my dad was in Bosnia for several months - twice. She also looked after me and my little sister all by herself while we were in early grade school since my dad had to take frequent trips. I never even thought about how hard it must have been for her, because she never once that I can remembered, ever showed any signs of it being anything more than daily trials everyone goes through.

Last year, I learned that even if friends have been friends forever, it doesn't mean that they won't at some point drift apart. But I also learned that even if friends drift apart for a while, it doesn't mean they won't come back and be even closer than before.

Last year, I realized that there is, in fact, some sci-fi that I do like (a phrase which here means "am totally obsessed with). I thought I would just try watching one or two Doctor Who episodes, but what do you know? It now ranks in my top three favorite TV shows ever. On that same note, I also found a new favorite actor (David Tennant).

Last year, I spend a weekend in Chicago with my mom. It. Was. A. Blast. During my early teen years my mom and I didn't get along real well. We didn't verbally fight but there was a lot of her telling me what to do and me sneaking around her back and doing it anyway. There was a lot of disagreeing and not talking. And while we still don't agree on everything, I can talk to her like I've never been able to talk to her before, and we're closer than we ever have been before. Getting to have her all to myself for a whole weekend was amazing and I really wish it could become a yearly thing.

Last year, I celebrated Beautifully Pure's first birthday. I now have over a year of my life documented on this blog. And while I'm still working out the kinks of when/what I want to post, I'm really happy with how far I've come and eagerly anticipating celebrating my blog's second birthday.

Last year, I got my drivers permit, and fell in love with driving. It is every bit as fun as I thought it would be. And I can't wait to get my drivers license so I can go on long, ambling drives all by myself.

Last year, I posted my first D.I.Y post on Beautifully Pure. I'm so proud of this. I've wanted to do a D.I.Y post for a long time, but didn't think I could. I worked really hard on this post, and I'm so happy with how it turned out.

Last year, I got to see one of my favorite bands live, and get a real concert experience. I've been to Celtic Woman (they used to be one of my top three favorite bands) twice before, but both of those concerts were at bigger venues, and the people who went were rather - boring. The Owl City concert was in a small college chapel, and the people there were more like normal people at a concert. It was a blast and my sister and I have already decided that we are going to the new Owl City concert that comes near our home.

Last year, I turned eighteen. I've waited my whole life to turn eighteen, and it feels amazing. I feel like I can go after any dream I want, and I'm so excited to start my adult life.

Last year, I wrote an eighteen before nineteen list. I've never done this before, but as soon as I saw Elsiecake's 28 before 29 list, I knew I wanted to do one. And what better time to start than after I turn eighteen??

Last year, I learned not to be so shy. Despite what it may feel like sometimes, everyone is not looking at me thinking that I'm such a pest and talk too much, that I'm silly and frivolous because I like to dress up, or that I'm a freak of nature because I like make up and old cars. Some people can see me exactly as I am and like me that way. And let me tell you, knowing that is an amazing feeling.

Last year, I decided to start trusting people again. I've been hurt, and I've hidden a lot over the years, but I don't want to anymore. I want to be open and honest because that's the only way I'm ever going to be able to have any relationships with anyone, and I love everyone in my life too much to push them all away. I know in my heart I can trust them - they've proven it time and time again - it's just getting over my initial instincts to hide that is the trouble.

So, this post has become very long and rambling, but I really have had a great year, and I can't wait to see what 2012 holds for me.

What did you do in 2011?

The Way You Love Me // Daily Outfit + Honest to Blog

{dress//ModCloth :: jeans//Old Navy :: shoes//UrbanOg :: cardigan//thrifted :: belt//thrifted :: necklace//ModCloth :: headband//D.I.Y}

"There's no one else who can love me,
 Quite like the way that you love me,
No, there's no one else."
~ No One Else by Breanne Duren
This is outfit is almost entirely composed of some of my favorite pieces of clothing and make up. ModCloth dress? Check. Indie shoes? Check. Bright fuchsia lipstick? Check. Bright blue cardigan, Peter Pan colar, DIY headband and (awesome) gold rockabilly car necklace? Check! I have an inkling that this outfit probably shouldn't work, but I don't really care. It's me and I like it. ♥
A couple years ago I had a friend that with low self esteem. She had to be the best and smartest at everything, and if I didn't agree with her then I had to be the one who was wrong. I know she didn't mean to be mean, because she's really a sweet girl, but I had low self esteem and being around her made me question myself. I felt like somehow I just wasn't quite as good as she was. She didn't except me as I was, and I wanted her to like me so much I changed who I was to fit in with her. I often wonder how far I would have followed her if I hadn't met my big sister shortly after. 
But this year has been awesome. I've made a lot of new friends (yes, Amber, I'm looking at you!) who love me and except me completely as I am - which is pretty crazy as the first picture clearly shows - and my confidence has grown in leaps and bounds.

Earlier this week I was telling one of my afore mentioned new friends about how irritated I am at not posting on my blog more often. I summed it up to my laziness, and half joking/half not reprimanded myself with an exclamation of "bad, Katie!" But what my friend said next caught me by surprise. He told me quite bluntly that he didn't think I was lazy and bad, but "sweet and good." I'm not going to lie: that totally made my day! I'm definitely a "words of affirmation" kind of girl, so hearing something like that -especially completely unasked for - pretty much sent my confidence soaring sky high, and if it wasn't for that I probably wouldn't have had the guts to post that first picture.

The Road Less Traveled // Honest to Blog

I totally love Kaelah's Honest to Blog series, so I decided to secretly borrow it from her. :D Na, just kidding, I totally asked her permission. Did you really think I'd steal a fellow bloggers idea? *winks*

And with that disclosure, here follows Katie's first post in her own Honest to Blog series:

I may not show it here on the blog much, but I have a bad habit of being a bit of a doom-and-gloom sort of person - at least lately. This bothers me because I'm really not unhappy - I'm actually the happiest I've ever been before.

I have trouble expressing it sometimes - I have too many words for my brain to process - but I really feel like I'm on the right path now. Is it the path everyone wants me on? Probably not. Is a path everyone aproves of? No. But then, since when have I ever been on a path that everyone liked and approved of?

I've always done my best not to worry about what other people think/say and do what I believe is right and God-honoring in my life. Because, really, that's all that matters, and I know that if I do anything less than that I will regret it. One of my goals in life is to live without regrets, and while this may seem unrealistic to some people, I don't think it is. I don't mean I want to never make mistakes - we all do that - but I don't want to regret those mistakes, because everything is in God control, and He knows everything that is going to happen to me. Everything - ever mistake, every failure, and ever success will play a roll in shaping my life. If even one of those "failures" didn't happen I wouldn't be who I am today - and since I really like who I am today, why would I waste my time regretting something I can't change, that has helped me be who I am today?

It seems pretty stupid to me, so I'm not going to do that. I'm going to live my life the way I feel is right for me based on my strengths and desires and what I feel God is calling me to do. Some may call this nieve, but I can't live my life based on what others think I should do. I'm not as childish as everyone thinks I am. I don't make all my decisions based on my emotions - quite the oposite, really - I try to make all my decisions with the thought of "what will I think of this when I'm 40?" And right now, where I am, and where I'm headed seems right to me.

I have absolutely amazing friends - I mean, really awesome - a great family, and a blog I love. I know where I want to be in ten years, I am doing my best to get there, and I am enjoying the journey there, too. After all, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey, right?

Hoping you all have a lovely weekend! ♥