Ok, honesty time: I have no idea how to start this post. It's something that's been simmering in my mind for weeks now, but putting it onto "paper" is going to be a lot harder than I thought...
No doubt you all have heard (a lot) by now that I spent a week with my aunt and uncle in Missouri recently - and my trip, well, it was amazing. I had this odd premonition before hand that it was going to be a very defining point in - something - and it was. It made a lot of things I've been thinking about lately so much clearer in my head.
Within the past six months I made the difficult decision to let go of several friendships. I'm an extremely loyal friend, so even though I did everything I could before hand to make it work, I still felt really guilty about "ditching" my friends. The longer I've gone without contact with them, however, the clearer and clearer it's been to me that I made the right decision. There were so many problems with our friendship, and not the least was that I totally and completely lost myself. I stopped talking to my family and one of my oldest, closest friends because they was the only ones who "got me," and I stopped showing other sides of me because I got tired of getting shot down.
The thing is, though, that I feel like there's this whole other side of me that's not shown. Sometimes I even feel like my blog is a lie or a fraud because it's only one side of me. That's not all there is to me.
I'm not a hipster. I'm definitely not twee. I thought I was for a while, but I'm not. Not that it's bad to be either of those things - but that's just not me. I love Mason/Ball jars, but a big part of that is the fact that I've sorta grown up with them. My grandma and aunt have used them for as long as I can remember. In fact, I was drinking out of them before bloggers made it cool, and I actually know how to make jelly to put in them.
Not to go all hipster "I'm cooler than you" on you, but my point is that a lot of what I like overlaps with what is "twee" or "hipster" so it can seem like that's who I am, but I'm not. And I don't mean to sound like I'm too cool to be a hipster, but after getting rid of the negative influences in my life and bringing back some of the positive ones, I feel like I've just woken up from a dream! I look back on the past few years and all I can think is "what was I doing?? Why did I let one person influence and even - dare I say it - define who I was!?"
So what's the point of this big long ramble? I want to get back to my roots, and I want my blog to reflect that. I want more honesty here. More real talk. This will probably mean more talk of/photos of awesome pick-up trucks on the blog. This may mean me buying + busting out a camo tee shirt. This will hopefully mean more photography on the blog. The point is, I want my blog to be an accurate reflection of who I am - warts and all.
xo,
Katie
Honest to Blog is a category of posts I do when I feel like there's something big I need to address on my blog. It's based on a series by the same name on Little Chief Honey Bee.
I prefer honest heartfilled real posts than anything else, so I look very forward to these. I am glad you let us know. That is sad that through distancing from people who you needed to distance yourself from, you were pushing people away you didn't mean to or want to. That sounds like something that could easily happen and at least you have found that to be the case and can improve! yey! I don't know what twee is. The way you feel about mason jars is a bit how I felt over the past few years that the new doctor who was out. I was made fun of for being obsessed with doctor who because no one knew what it was and now those people love the show now that they have seen the new episodes only. I have a hard time with that. . .but I am getting through it. I love when people learn of the show, but people who mocked me for it and watch it is my real issue.
ReplyDelete+Victoria+
This was really interesting to read and I can relate a lot :)
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the friendship thing but I have been through similar and I know it's really positive sometimes to break away and move on :)
You're such a nice person I'm sure whatever you blog about it'll be great <3
Have a nice day! xx
I've been through various cycles of this, as well... not feeling like I've been representing myself honestly on the blog... showing too much of myself and feeling exposed... repeat, repeat, repeat. I think it's great that you want to start showing more of "you" though! Can't wait to see what's in store. xx
ReplyDelete*sigh* I love you...even if you do buy that camo sweatshirt and marry a redneck....:)
ReplyDeleteI don't think being a hipster or twee really means anything at this point. They are merely trite words. They lost meaning many years ago. To identify with a "label" does not make you a bad person or this or that. Labels mean NOTHING. You should focus more on being true to yourself. Rather that means "hipster", "goth", or whatever...as long as you are you!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I was looking up Rocky Ridge Survivor (a pick up truck) when I came across your post. I am so glad I did because I absolutely loved reading this. I am glad you got rid off of the negative influences in your life. I should do the same thing. I can't wait to read more. Thanks so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard sometimes to let go of negative people - it's hard to distinguish between being able to help someone out of a rough spot or if they are just bad to be around because you simply don't get along anymore. Humanity is tough. And I don't think it's a fraud to show one side or one angle, I think the blog is more like a window, it's just a peek!
ReplyDelete<3 katherine / of corgis & cocktails