It feels like I haven't written in forever and a day. I've been in a weird place, emotionally, but I feel like I finally have a sense of clarity about what I want to do with my life.
For as long as I can remember I've wanted to help girls. Every single time one of my friends was going though a hard time I wanted to be the one to help her. I've learned so much about eating disorders, sexual abuse, and the like in trying to be there for my friends.
I used to feel guilty because I had never been through anything like that. I guess you would call what I was feeling "survivor's guilt." I wondered why God had given me such an "easy" life. It wasn't fair while my friends were going through so much, but it makes sense to me, now. Those issues just aren't who I am - not that someone is less than me for having them, those just aren't my battles to face.
I used to want to be a councilor, but then I thought that I got too emotionally invested to do something like that. I had to take a big step back to realize that I think that's what I'm supposed to do.
I love girls. I love being around little girls, I love hanging out with girls younger than myself. I love feeling like I'm making a difference in someone's life. Because even though I'm not the wisest person in the world, I have been around the block once or twice, and I do have some knowledge I can pass on to girls younger than myself.
I used to be so scared, nervous and so insecure, but I've come a long way. I'm doing things now that I still can't believe. Things I know I wouldn't have had the nerve to do two years ago. I don't think that coincidence. I don't think it's an accident. I think that God has a plan for it. I want to teach
♥ ♥ ♥
shorts: Top Shop via the Buffalo Exchange
blouse: Maurice's
cardigan: c/o Conversation Pieces
necklace: flea market
stockings: Forever 21
shoes: c/o Blowfish Shoes
shoes: c/o Blowfish Shoes
necklace: flea market
title: More Beautiful than You Believe by Summertime's End


