I just wanna throw my phone away
Find out who is really there for me
You ripped me off, your love was cheap
Was always tearing at the seams
I fell deep and you let me drown
But that was then and this is now...
Now look at me, I'm sparkling
A firework, a dancing flame
You won't ever put me out again
I'm glowing, oh woah oh
...
In fact you can keep everything
Yeah, yeah
Except for me
This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no
This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no
Throw your sticks and stones
Throw your bombs and your blows
But you're not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no
Throw your bombs and your blows
But you're not gonna break my soul
This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no
~ Part of me by Katy Perry
Sometimes in relationships - be they the romantic kind of just friendships - you can get to the point when you realize that the other person in the relationship doesn't really have your best interests at heart anymore. That they just keep taking and taking without really offering to give back, and that you've lost yourself because it was so much easier to suck it up and do what they wanted rather than hear about it from them later. Well, I've been there very recently...
Looking back on the past year I can't believe how much I stifled myself just to make one of my friendships work. I didn't post on blog about things I wanted to because I knew it would cause problems - even things that weren't even about anyone else, but just how I was feeling. (How pathetic is that?) And I can't believe that I didn't notice it at the time! I mean, when someone all but forgets your golden/eighteenth birthday for months, and you don't say anything because you know it will just get your friend ticked off at you, it ought to be a pretty bit indicator that this friendship isn't working, right?? But I put up with it for months and months as the friendship dragged on, and now that it's over, I just feel so weird...
I know it's for the best, and no one can convince me otherwise but it's still so hard. It's hard to see someone I love so much and not really recognizing them... But hard as it is I know it's the right thing, I know I'm stronger for doing the right thing, and - honestly - I've never felt more like myself than I do right now. No more worrying what people are going to think when they see what I wore that day, or when they read that I'm stressed out about a friend. I am me because you know what? I'm a single girl, and I don't have to answer to my friends for behavior that doesn't concern them. I mean, I'm totally fine with friends talking to me if they think I'm behaving badly, but I cannot handle them acting like it's their duty to save me. I'm almost nineteen years old and I'm old enough to make decisions for myself, and I really, really just want to be myself. ♥
♥ ♥ ♥
dress: thriftstore
cardigan: ModCloth
belt: Francesca's Collections
cardigan: ModCloth
belt: Francesca's Collections
shoes: Libby Edelman via Lori's Shoes
bracelet: gift from my parents
ring: Target
jeans: Forever 21
lipstick: MAC in Lickable
Title: Part of Me by Katy Perry
Title: Part of Me by Katy Perry
