Who would have thought that pushing one button on the computer could hurt so badly? Well, sometimes it can. Saturday night I did something really, really hard for me: I unfriended on one of my social networks, a girl I've known for years. A girl I counted as one of my best friends for years.
It is hard when you're friends with someone for a long time and then you suddenly realize that your friendship meant nothing to them. I would have done anything for this girl - and she pushed me aside without a second thought. I kept telling myself things would be better and making excuses for her, but there comes a point when you just can't be patient anymore - because you'll just end up getting hurt every time things aren't better.
I tried so hard to let go of her, but I just couldn't give up hope. So Saturday night I finally just spilled out into a venting monologue to my big sister. I asked her if she thought it would be wrong to unfriend the girl, and she said she thought it would be a good thing - reassuring me that I was right. So I did it. I went to the girl's profile and clicked "unfriend" and then cried as I looked at her profile. I could see her likes and dislikes, where she was going to school, her home town - everything I already knew. And above it all there was a button that said "add as friend" forcing me to accept the fact that we had never really been friends.
I have been thinking about it ever since then, and I realized that I turned a blind eye to a lot. She wasn't a very good friend, and I don't think she respected me. So I am letting her go now. And having a very "Dear John" sort of moment while I do so (does that make up for Music Monday? How about we say it does, anyway? ;-D)
I have a lot of really awesome friends - a bunch of which I'm going to get to see this spring (score!) I'm not desperate. I don't need to put up with someone who doesn't really care about me - someone who doesn't and never has accepted me as I am.
So here I am - one friend less. I'm still "shining like fireworks" and in true Taylor Swift style I'm having the last word. I'm "taking her matches before fire can catch me" and "surprise surprise, I'm doing just fine!" (That last one is Hannah Montana - not Taylor, but it fits. :D)
(P.S. Sorry for the image heavy post. This is part of a photo shoot I did while I was out of town this week. You can see the rest of the pictures on my Flickr page if you like)
Outfit Details:
Dress - Vintage (borrowed from my cousin, Anna)
Tights - Merona
Ankle Boots - Xhilaration
Belt - Charlotte Russe
Purse - Mulberry for Target
Leather Jacket - Wet Seal
You know the scriptures about how we will all have seasonal friends? Well this might be that issue. Perhaps one day she'll be back again for another season. I have had so many friends since high school that have come and returned. When they returned it was usually in sharing how they were sorry and went through a phase to find themselves and made mistakes, etc. Other friends who did come back, we might have been best friends in high school days but now if we see each other around it is surface-filled and we get along but there is no bond anymore at all. There are only two of my friends that came back who I have a closer bond to than ever. I do have a couple friends that were my dearest friends in the past in which I am glad that they aren't in my life because of how they live their lives and depended too much on me, yet were selfish and uncaring of me at all. .. just wanted to take and take and take without giving in return, and I gladly did so until I realized it would harm my children to have them in my life so I tested to see how long that friend would take before wanting to be a part of my life.. . .and didn't hear from them for 3 years! So yeah. . .it's hard and painful when they are so amazing to you and you shared so much of your life with them with memories and more. I will pray that you will feel at peace in time and will be able to find treasurable long lasting friends. I have a couple friends that I now can count on for life and I'm truly blessed. You will be too. Oh and your outfit is amazing!
ReplyDeletegreat blog girl!i love your looks!the posts are amazing!i am following u now!sorry that it took me a while to answer i was moving my blog to another domain so here i am again!!
ReplyDeletetell me if u like my page!!
http://www.ffffashionmixxxx.com
Your dress and bag are so perfect!
ReplyDeleteOh and I totally know what you mean about that friend.. i think everyone has one.. and I know as I was reading that I was thinking of my friend like yours. Its aweful, but I deffinitely think you did the right thing, people like that just arent worth the time!
x
First off, I absolutely adore your dress and bag.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. The older I get, I've found that it's much easier to see who your true friends are and though it always hurts to move on, it helps to understand that if someone isn't helping you grow and learn at all, it isn't a bad thing to want to move forward. Hope you're feeling better!
-Meagan
http://spunkychateau.blogspot.com
Sorry to hear that - letting go of a friendship is far from easy. I love what Victoria has to say on this. I have had a lot of friendships fall apart but come back together again stronger years later but I have also had to take the decision to completely distance myself from some people for good. When you can't trust someone that 's that and when there isn't mutual respect that 's pretty damning too.
ReplyDeleteHope it doesn't weigh too heavy. Even the right decision can be so darn hard sometimes. :)
That dress is beautiful on you - I love the soft grey/blue and the flower print is just lush
Happy weekend!
Thank you.
ReplyDelete