I've been wanting to post about this for a while, but I've been especially motivated to the past day or so.
My life is not perfect - far from it. There is a lot in my life I desperately wish I could change. Most of my life I've felt isolated and completely alone. Even after I became a Christian. I still refused to ask for help in the hardest areas of my life - even from my Heavenly Father. Instead I blamed other people for the sorrows in my life and played the helpless victim. I acted up to get attention. The ways were different, but the reasons were the same. I thought I had to be strong - not let anyone see how broken I was inside.
December, 2009 - when I was into darker things (dark, for me).
Last winter, however, something happened. I was so exhausted from always keeping everything pent up I finally broke down and briefly told my two best friends about my problems. A couple days later I really broke down and, tired and crying I opened up and told my newly-acquired big sister
everything. I learned something, too - she had the same problems.
June, 2009 - my extreme vintage/dressy phase
I also realized that I don't have to go through this by myself. I have someone who understands me, and wants to help me, and my Heavenly Father who will take care of me. I'm not alone.
That realization helped me a ton. I realized that parts of my life suck, and even though it isn't from anything I did, I can't change it. But I can change my attitude. I can stop blaming others, stop pouting and accept it for what it is. I can also pray about my faults and work on them so I won't make the same mistakes I've seen others make.
June, 2010 - Me now
All of this has given me a new confidence. I am myself. I'm no longer afraid to be myself. If you don't like me as I am then that's too bad, because God has made me special, and He has a plan for me, and I'm not changing for any earthly person.
"Fearless" June, 2010 - Me now
So, for those of you who may be thinking "Wow! Katie certainly has changed a lot this past year!" I havn't - not really. My attitude has changed, but the rest is just me growing up, learning not to pout and be a drama queen, and finally having the courage to by myself.
I'm beautifully me, and beautifully fearless.
<3
First Outfit Details:
Shirt: Charlotte Russe
Scarf: Icing
Jeans: So...
Second Outfit Details:
Jeans: The Limited
Shirt: Old Navy
Purse: Charlotte Russe
Shoes: Old Navy
Headband: Forever 21
Third Outfit Details:
Jeans: Old Navy
Shoes: Kohls
Shirt: Candies
Belt: Thrifted
Headband: Homeade